A "Ward" Free Lifestyle

Note to self - cool your heels a bit after encountering something that you loathe so much that you have an actual physical reaction to.

The Internet is a crazy little piece of work. On the same note, it can also make you crazy. I just typed in a Google search for general parenting articles and came across quite the literary gem that the Google Gods obviously misplaced. At first, the search returned a website named thechildfreelife.com. Nope, that's not what I was looking for...continue on. I clicked on the next return where I stumbled across one of the most asinine articles that I've ever read.

The article is, in my opinion, insulting before the actual content even begins. I could write a manifesto on the title alone but I'll try to move straight to the irritating slights that the "author" manages to douse on a (what I see to be) very kid-friendly society. Carolyn Ray wrote a piece (of garbage, I might add) called "The Social Stigma of Leading a Ward-Free Life" I mean seriously, did she just refer to a child...a human being as a "ward?"  Strike one, lady.

She then eludes to a number of observations. Mind you, she never even actually states very many of her own reasons for not wanting kids but rather references  instances where parents are in the wrong for wanting and having them in the first place (over-population, a selfish need to have someone love them...yada, yada, yada.) I try my best to roll with a live-and-let-live lifestyle. However, this lady is so off her rocker it's painstaking for me to advocate tolerance for profound stupidity. Let me acquaint you with a couple of her theories:

• "People have kids to fulfill something inside of themselves that's missing - primarily insecurity or a lack of happiness."

• "Judging by the way many parents behave toward children, and by the things they complain about, it seems pretty clear that most people don't like children very much at all."

Let me also explain the semantics of "childless" vs. "childfree" vs. "wardfree" - 

Childless - a person who by circumstance (infertility, timing, financial situations, etc.) does not have a child. Most people fall into this category as they want children but have just yet to have them. I myself was childless for most of my life but most certainly wanted children.

Childfree - a person who chooses  not to have children for personal reasons.

Wardfree - a stupid and offensive way to state that you are proud to be childfree by insulting mainstream society. Let's get on the same page lady, you are the minority, not parents or those that are simply childless.

Now I know that I've ranted pretty hard and busted this chicks chops, but for good reason. As always, my posts try to find joy in very unexpected places. Therefore, what I choose to take away from this lady's waste of Cyberspace is that FACT that she is the minority and not the majority. In my life, majority rules so it's us parents and yet-to-be parents that are the winners here. We're winners because we're selfless and not selfish as she implies. Take stock that we as parents raise our kids for the greater good of our society - not to attribute to its demise. Believe me, we have plenty of other issues that are working to destroy our society.

Kids are our future... If we were to stop having them, civilization would cease to exist. Ummm, duh! This seems to be a no-brainer. So let's raise our kiddos up right and teach them to contribute to the well being of society in their own special, unique, interesting and beautiful ways!

I am a blessed and truly lucky woman because I find joy every time I have the privilege of looking into any child's eyes - not just my own. 

I'll Find Joy In This, Too

Moments ago, Casey Anthony was acquitted on all counts of murder. My heart is full and my stomach is ill. 


I've followed this case for nearly 2 years. At the time the story first broke, I wasn't a mother but my heart ached for the poor child that was taken, and I mean TAKEN far too soon. Now that I am a mother this case took an extraordinary toll on my endeavor to live peacefully and with joy.


But, I managed to do just that in a seemingly no-joy situation. I know that she will face the ultimate sentencing when she meets her Maker. I fully believe that there is no earthly punishment that can begin to measure up to what the Lord has in store for her. If I were to think of the most horrid, painful, vindictive and brutal of punishments, I wholeheartedly believe that it would be nothing more than a speck in comparison to what God's plan is for this. I find GREAT joy and comfort in that. 


Don't quote me on this, but I don't believe that acquittals by Man's laws mean much at the pearly gates. Much joy found in that...

Mommy needs a what???

I fully admit that I have learned a LOT since becoming a full-time mommy. There was no book to prepare me for life after baby. No one calls from the hospital to ask how things are going - they really do let you just walk out of the place with no questions asked whatsoever. I still maintain there should have been some type of quiz involved prior to our seemingly rushed but otherwise uneventful departure. The first few weeks home are a baptism-by-fire kind of situation. You're in survival mode and you do what you have to do in order to get by. "Keep on keepin' on" as I say. You learn quickly and what you still don't know, you Google!


Even 8 months out, I am still more than eager to find answers to the unknowns by using my crazy-mad Internet search skills for the things I'm still unfamiliar with. There are the very philosophical things like "How am I ever going to teach this child everything he needs to know to become a decent and caring person?" You know... the deep stuff. Alternatively, there are the very practical everyday questions like "Should I use OxyClean or Dreft to get this particular kind of poop out of these (meaning the baby's, not mine) pants?" And when it comes right down to it, the two questions are pretty much tied for my brain-space most of the time. This triggered some sort of inner alarm and I felt the need to Google something brilliant.


After trying to cut and paste my thoughts together long enough to make a coherent query, the light bulb above my head went off and I thought of the perfect search phrase: "Coping skill for stay at home mothers." Peace settled within me as my inquisitive thought/question was thrown out into Cyberland. Within the milliseconds Google takes to return my search, my browser was full of answers to my predicament. I quickly clicked on the first result and was astonished by the site's answer for mothers in a rut...


Their response was: Drink up!


I guess if you anaesthetise any situation enough, you're bound to get the answer, or in this case peace, that you're looking for. Really people? Yes, yes they did! There is in fact a site that advocates mommies getting back their sanity by throwing back the booze. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for a good time and I love my cocktails  - when the time is right. I'm no hater when it comes to a good time. But, I think I'm going to have to stick with separating parenting from partying - at least 'til he's 21. (Just kidding!)


Cheers...maybe???

Writer Blocked...

I've been batting the idea around to write a novel for a month or so. The content is there, believe me, as it's about just one generation of crazy that runs in my family. When I say crazy here, I'm meaning it makes a Lifetime movie look like an episode of Barney and Friends. When you have material this good, writer's block is not my issue.

My issue that I've been trying to muddle through is how to get it published. Yeah, yeah, I know... I should probably write the thing before I work out such minor details as this. Cart. Horse. I get it. But still, wanting to know where to go after my masterpiece is complete is just a step towards being prepared, right? I mean, why bother with the whole thing at all if there's not a clear plan to execute at the end?

Then I remembered my mother-in-law telling me about a book that a local woman wrote about the trials and tribulations of being a wife and mother. Well, hot damn - I can relate to that! I open up my little Nookie and have that darling piece of literature in my hands in less than 18 seconds. The book was pretty good as far as mommy-logs are concerned. The main thing I found so intriguing about this book was that the author lived in my town. If I lived in New York or LA this wouldn't be so titillating. But, hello... I live in Little Rock, Arkansas. This is not exactly a place where literary masterminds hale from. It was more than amazing to me to think that a published author lived in my very own town. Heck, I've probably been stuck with her at the same stoplight. I've most likely shopped for my groceries at the very same Kroger. Our dogs may even go to the same vet clinic for all I know. I mean, we've got to have so much in common, right?

Enthusiasm was flowing through my body and my energy to meet this woman was consuming me. I had to make contact right away. I fully believed that if this lady knew me, knew how much we had in common (we live in the same town AND we're both writers...well, one of us anyway) that we were bound to be besties from here to eternity. Last night a sent her a delightfully upbeat "howdy-do" and explained myself in a short and sweet manner - I live in Little Rock, I want to write and I'd love to grab a Starbucks with her... my treat, of course!

This morning I awoke to this message:

"Being that I'm a published author, wife and mother, I don't have a lot of spare time. The spare time that I do have, I'd rather not spend mentoring unknowns. I believe my time can be spent in more useful endeavors. There are plenty of resources that can be found on the web. Best of luck."

Well lady... if that's how you really feel don't sugar coat it for me! I'll take solace in the fact that I'll learn my lessons and take my lumps from this. But, I'm pretty sure that you'll continue to "show your spots" to those who try to support you... No loss here.